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Maintenance Day 37
Waist = 34 3/8"; Down 1/8 "
Snapped awake about 0130 to one of those "rehearsal" conversations we have with ourselves. You know the type. Where you are simultaneously trying to reconstruct the now hazy truth and concoct your story. My testimony, I tell myself, has got to be that I "do not recall" and/or "did not see" what happened. Furiously scanning the harddriives for any remaining fact shards that might be of use. Nada. It suddenly occurs to me that my "story" is actually true. I really don't recall. Momentarily relieving, yes, but still, I know that there's more, that things will not so simply be resolved.
It all started more than a month ago. Pretty sure that it was at my grandmother's house. Sure seemed to be. Bunch of us kids fooling around. Setting off fireworks in the house. In the kitchen. Mayhem. We are all run out of the house. Some of the cousins, none of whom I could actually put a name to, start playing keep away with an older kid's stuftie. He's more than a little bit older, probably not even a kid really, what the grandparents might have called "touched," and very attached. A scene of abject cruelty unfolds. The sort that children seem most capable of inflicting. The other's existential weakness duly identified, it is simply and relentlessly attacked until psychological annihilation is achieved. This ugly episode took a most unfortunate turn when said stuftie got caught on a low power line feeding the house. We start throwing stuff at it to knock it off. Touched cousin is apoplectic. Disappears. Returns with a ladder. The horror of his intent sobers the lot of us. All rush to intervene. He is too big and determined and strong for us. By the time the adults are rallied to the cause, the story has run its inevitable, Lord of the Flies, course. The image of cousin's demise seared forever in our psyches.
I cannot, for the life of me, recall what I told the police when they hauled us all down to the station. I just remember telling myself at the time "just tell the truth." Just not all of it. I just can't remember what exactly happened anymore.
I have been to a funeral. Unrelated, I believe. My parents are seated close to the front. The place is unusual to me. Packed with people. Outdoors? Standing room only. I feel like I should be close behind my parents, but standing, few rows back, for support. Too many people, not enough room for this. Getting jostled about.
Then I am in the police station. Interviews again. I am struggling. Female detective. Blonde. New character. Bigger woman, but not fat fat. Short cropped hair, as the overworked career girls do. After not answering the same questions for some time, I get up and say something to the effect of "I am done with this." She reminds me, stern for the first time, that I am a "material witness," and cooperation is not optional. Somehow she is walking me back to my grandparent's house. I find myself holding hands with her as we walk. Just a little. In that casual way where your hands brush and pinkies end up intertwined. And you go with it. Like little kids. I am simultaneously nauseated and comforted.
This, my friends, is the inevitable result of a late night turkey, Canadian bacon, and three cheese super melt. Good news is that the shopping is done. Hit the outlets last night. Scored shorts from Calvin. Only place I could find with full stock. 32s were perfect in the waist little snug in the thighs and ass. 33s were loose loose in the waist, more comfortable. The ladies in the dressing room were kind enough to assure me that the 32s were the way to go. Little disappointed that I couldn't score a better deal. Not disappointed to be done shopping for a minute. Made the Haj home with the windows down and the system up. Sade - Diamond Life. If you know of a sexier woman on God's green earth, I want to know.
Calories up 500/day on the week. Waist down. I do not even pretend to understand at this point. No sun again, so time to stop procrastinating and go scrub and reassemble my office.
Let's go!
Target Waist = 32" - 34"
Target Scale = 195# +/- 5#
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89.5 kg
Lost so far: 1.6 kg.
Still to go: 2.0 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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2128 kcal
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Fat: 96.73g | Prot: 146.85g | Carbs: 185.01g.
Lunch: Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Honey , 365 Organic Crunchy Peanut Butter, Butter (Salted), Great Harvest Bread Co Honey Whole Wheat Bread. Dinner: Shoulder Pork Roast (Lean Only Eaten), White Rice, BBQ Sauce - House (1 Tbsp), Pepperidge Farm White Sliders Mini Buns. Snacks/Other: Pecan Nuts , Baker's 100% Cacao, Now Foods Whey Protein Isolate Unflavored, Silk Pure Almond Milk - Unsweetened Original, Bananas, Strawberries. more...
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Losing 3.2 kg a Week
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