jimmiepop's Journal, 26 Dec 20

D5
34 hours fasted.

Apparently I found a light spot on the scales yesterday. Thankfully relocated it this morning, averting the dreaded fasted weight gain. Christmas is tomorrow this year, due to family logistics and travel. Took advantage of the quiet house yesterday to scrub the floors. Good to keep moving. The house feels dead without the kids. This season has often found me deep in the feels, and this year is no exception.

Pop wanted to help, which trebles any task. Somehow being with someone of his diminished capacity feels lonlier than being alone. Old age, it would seem, separates the relationship wheat and chaff as effectively as divorce.

Call it macabre, but I have been contemplating his eulogy of late, and took the opportunity to clarify some particulars of his experience teaching in a one room school house in 1943. It seems a bizarre and cruel trick that this he can recall with relative ease, while things like turning on the water or using a razor can escape him. He's been asking recently about a variety of people who have been dead many decades. In his day, he had a sharp mind and a razor tongue, which he did not spare. He raised me to never gladly suffer fools. Rich now, that.

I have preached to the kids that we are each responsible for our own feels. That the path to resolution is inward. And so to my Christmas floor...

Peace.
90.5 kg Lost so far: 5.6 kg.    Still to go: 6.6 kg.    Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
steady weight

21 Supporters    Support   

Comments 
I have the same with my Father. Peace my Brother. 
26 Dec 20 by member: adefwebserver
@adef Appreciate you, brother.  
26 Dec 20 by member: jimmiepop
I wish my father (and mother) were here so I could give them both one more hug and express my love for them. Even if it did not register with either of them. As my mothers last non-cognitive words to me were "Who are you?"  
27 Dec 20 by member: WindyFlowers
Try not to agonize over these things. Focus on the small things about them that might bring a chuckle to your day or a fond smile. These are the things to burn into your memory. 
27 Dec 20 by member: Kenna Morton
Music was a great way to jumpstart my grandmother’s mind to be more present with us. Streaming makes it super easy. 
27 Dec 20 by member: Katsolo

     
 

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